Having being in love with a man who was suffering from mental illness was not at all easy for her, she loved him with all her heart, a day without seeing him or even talking to him on the phone was like a day without the sun or the moon, she was addicted to him, her whole universe turned around him only, she was completely and utterly drowned in this dangerous liaison.
The first time she saw him, he was sitting in a chair and it was love at first sight, her heart never pounded so loudly, her whole world collapsed when her eyes met his, a feeling of dizziness took over her mind, and what seemed to be only a fraction of seconds seemed to last for ages in her mind.
She could have stayed there looking stupidly abrupt and continually gazing at him in the eye, and she knew that right from that day she wanted to belong to him. But if she knew that he was not a good man, could she have stopped her heart from falling in love with him, could she have talked to her heart and said to it to stop beating so fast at the sight of him, could all this drama been avoided if she had the ability to command to her heart not to pump the blood from her veins so hardly at his sight, and we all know that the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing.
It was an intense but wrecking relation, and she should have let go from the very fist day they spent their first night together, she should have seen that there was something wrong with that man, but she was completely blind and deaf and she let herself sink in deep waters, one that would drowned her and leave her completely destroyed.
And after days of struggling with herself so as to set herself free from this man, and days of unbearable pain, sadness and prayers, she finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, she wanted it to end for her own sake, and it ended, every pain endured, every bruise, every sharp blows inflicted to her brain finally ended when she decided to forgive him, when she decided that it was not his fault, she set herself free by letting go of all the negative feelings she had towards him and above all she let go of her fears and learned to love herself again.
Much love Christa♥♥♥